Life Begins

On the criminally underrated Beach Boys album "Friends" from 1968, there is a very slight opening track called Be Still.  The only accompaniment is an organ, with a single human voice singing.  The bridge, which is only four bars (if that) goes:

"Now is the time, life begins"

On the phrase "life begins," the normally dry voice opens up with massive reverb and the organ stops.  It is such a small and subtle change, but the effect is huge.

When asked about future plans and how I feel and if I'm going to get a raise and on and on and on, the only words that I typically say are, life begins.  I made such huge personal changes (for the better) while I was going through school, that coming out on the other end is so much more than my last post about having more time.  It's about a fundamental change in my immediate universe.  I no longer have excuses, and I truly believe that is the content of that fundamental change.  

I am reminded of something I have scribbled in my scriptures next to this verse:

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

 The notation I have scribbled is something to the effect that this verse constitutes the "end of excuses."

Whatever lies ahead, I can have confidence that there is going to be a strong need for reliance on the Spirit, and the admission and submission of weakness.  Like a child, life begins.

Time

Yesterday I finished the last final I will ever take and turned it in by e-mailing it to my professor. I did so five days ahead of time, and I turned in the final for my other class six days previous to its due date. I'm done. And I'm beside myself (a schizophrenic phrase if there ever was one). Nine years ago I felt almost exactly the same as I do now. I had just finished my two year mission in British Columbia and was home in Southern California. I didn't know quite what to do because all of a sudden I had this excess of time. Of course much has changed in those nine years. Marriage, move to Texas, buy first house, have first child, have second child, move to a new house, have third child, graduate with my Bachelor's, have fourth child, and now graduate with my Masters. There was also full time work for eight years of this time period. The point still stands that I've been going to school for almost eight years and the routine of researching and writing has become a nightly occurrence. What do I do now with all of this time? I still have work, which takes me out of the home for nine hours during the day. I still need to prep this house to sell in the near future (it's on our list and has been for a long time). I still want to help T pursue her education. If I were to truly dedicate time to listing out all of the things I need to do, I'd probably be able to fill every ounce of time. It still does not erase the feeling of opportunity, anticipation, anxiousness, hope and the unknown. I got engaged the last time I had time on my hands. What is going to happen now? I'll tell you one thing, I most likely won't be writing the next great American novel.

Graduation Day...

...is coming soon. I'd almost forgotten that I will be done with my Masters program in a month. My T has been a vital support throughout this entire process, and I don't know what life is going to really be like without school there. This has been the routine our entire marriage, and now it's almost over. These are days that we have dreamed about for years. There is so much to think about for the future. Part of that thinking of the future involves sending out resumes and cover letters, applications and letters of interest. Until just the past couple of days, I've been focusing on court administration jobs, but have recently opened that up to municipal administration jobs. Who knows where we'll end up, who knows what I'll be doing; the only thing I'm anxious for is to get there and do it. There is so much to be grateful for, and while there may be excitement and anxiousness, I can't forget to thank my Father in Heaven for making such conditions and circumstances possible. I've been planted, and I need to bloom in thankfulness.

The Price of Bananas

So, it is not common knowledge, but my eldest has some simian traits of which she is proud. One day this week, I was washing dishes in the kitchen when I hear the TV in the living room switch to some video that I'm unfamiliar with. "What is that?" No answer from the peanut gallery. "Tabitha?" Silence. I walk around the counter into the living room to see Tabitha with the remote control, which I had neatly laid on top of the bookshelf, about 6 and a 1/2 feet high. "How did you get that?" I asked, flabbergasted. She put up her arms in a stumped pose and said in her best 7 year old Valley-speak, pointing to herself "Dad, monkey-climber, hello?!" Now it was my turn to be silent, and incidentally do my best not to laugh. Gotta love my monkeys.

Thinking About Closing That Courthouse? Think Again.

I do love my disaster class, and particularly the topic that I've chosen for the research project this semester "Courting Disaster: The Socio-political Effects of Closing Courts During Recovery."  I had thought about the philosophy behind why courts need a contingency plan in the event of an emergency,  but this paper has brought it all to a level of analysis I couldn't have dreamed of in 2008.  Such are the effects of a Masters in Public Administration.

From the first section:

"As challenging as circumstances may become, judges have choices as to how they will confront exigent situations. Leadership in these instances begets legitimacy and trust. A party that knows the judge is going out of her way to make sure that needs are met and rights are protected is going to be that much more satisfied with the verdict, even in the instance that it doesn't favor them." 

To not give too much away, the thesis revolves around the assertion that courts lose legitimacy and public trust the longer they are closed, and that there is a political cost in doing so.  I'm sure this is an instance of a grad student loving their own research, but I'm excited for how this will help in drafting a Permanent Plan for the Texas Judiciary, acknowledging the far-reaching aspects of court preparation and its connection with the mission of the judiciary as a protector of the people's rights.

One Last Word on Civility

So the Civil Discourse conference at University of Washington was great.  I got to meet the Director of the National Institute for Civil Discourse, Dr. Carolyn J. Lukensmeyer, along with many other thought leaders in the field.  Many thanks to Steve Benowitz and the Evergreen ASPA Chapter for the opportunity to speak.  The presentation went off well enough.  In retrospect, I should have listened to my wonderful T, who encouraged more preparation.  You were and are right.  How great the fall of the haughty and proud!

Less than three weeks after returning home, I see this:

http://www.chron.com/default/article/Galveston-County-judge-accused-of-profanity-abuse-3988864.php

I'd actually read this accusation before it was printed in the paper, by virtue of the Motion to Recuse filed because of the outburst.  I have a couple of observations on the matter.

• A portion of my paper focused on the perception of litigants in court regarding how they are treated by judges and staff.  If nonverbal behavior can have an ultimately poor effect on their perception, I doubt that a verbal outburst is going to fare much better on the litigant's mind.  I can understand the perplexing difficulties a judge may face when he sees an unborn child suffering because of base negligence on the part of the defendant, but ripping up a plea agreement and telling an attorney attempting reason to "step away" doesn't engender confidence in the process or the system.
• That being said, desensitization to all types of punishments or reprimands has led to certain people in the justice system at their wits' end trying to figure out how to get people to understand the illegal and ultimately harmful nature of their activities.  There is a vast disconnect between why we do what we do and the laws that govern society.  It is a crisis of society itself, and I can understand the judge feeling like a one man army against the forces of destruction.  

Hard questions, one and all, but we shall see the extent to which such an outburst belies a biased judge, or merely one who has seen too much bad, with too many in the system turning a blind eye.

'Til next time,

TMM

On Sickness

The German word for health, gesundheit, is typically what you might hear after somebody sneezes, usually in place of a bless you.  The word for sickness in that august tongue, krankheit, is entirely appropriate for cross cultural pollination as well.  For we (at least I) get cranky when we get sick.

It's really no use trying to use a stern voice when you're losing your voice.  It either comes out as a delicate bark, or if you happen to get up enough volume, your voice cracks.  Whoever said it was no fun being sick didn't take the time to find a positive simile for illness.  I'll toss out a few:

Being sick is like Thanksgiving.  You feel like you're hefting frozen turkeys with your head and chest.

Being sick is a little like running the wrong direction in football.  Nobody wants to touch you.

Being sick is like getting stopped.  One way or another, something green is going to leave your possession.

and

(drum roll)

Being sick is like meat and potatoes without the meat.  You're all eyes and no legs.

Until next time,

TMM